Funny  Political cartoons

 Funny  Politicalphotos

Funny Jokes

Animal Joke

Lion Tamer

wo unemployed guys are talking. One says, "I'm going to become a lion tamer." The other replies, "That's crazy, you don't know nothing about no lion taming." "Yes I do!" "Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?" "Well, then I take that big chair they all carry, and I stick it in his face until he backs down." "Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair out of the cage? What do you do then?" "Well, then I takes that whip they all carry, and I whip him and whip him until he backs down." "Well, what if that lion bites that whip with his big teeth, and bites it in two? What you gonna do then?" "Well, then I take that gun they all carry, and I shoot him." "Well, what if that gun doesn't work? What will you do then?" "Well, then I pick up some of the shit that's on the bottom of the cage, and I throw it in his eyes, and I run out of the cage." "Well, what if there ain't no shit in the bottom of the cage? What you gonna do then?" "Well, that's dumb. Cause if that lion comes at me, and he throws the chair out of the cage, and he bites the whip in two, and my gun don't work, there's going to be some shit on the bottom of that cage, you can bet on that."

Funny Quote

Love Quotes

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. David Bissonnette I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. Henry Youngman It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week. Laurence J. Peter If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Unknown If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? Lily Tomlin Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock. John Barrymore Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. Robert Frost A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point. That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know. Mistinguette Absence -- that common cure of love. Miguel De Cervantes

Medical Joke

Mix Up at the Hospital

This guy went to hospital for a circumcision, but because of a mix up, he ended up having a complete sex change. All of the doctors and nurses had gathered around his bed as he was waking up so they could give him the bad news. Naturally, the poor guy went to pieces and started crying when they explained what had happened to him. "Oh no!" he moaned, "this means I'll never be able to experience an erection ever again!" "Of course you will," one of the doctors soothed. It'll just have to be someone else's, that's all."

Adult Joke

Daughters are curious~~~

A little girl walks into her parents' bathroom and notices for the First time, her father's nakedness. Immediately, she is curious: he has equipment that she doesn't have. She asks, "What are those round things hanging there, daddy?" Proudly, he replies, "Those, sweetheart, are God's Apples of Life. Without them we wouldn't be here." Puzzled, she seeks her mommy out and tells her what daddy has said. To which mommy asks, "Did he say anything about the dead branch they're hanging from?"

Adult Joke

Making Love To...

How can you tell if you're making love to a teacher,a nurse or an airline stewardess? A teacher says we got to do this over and over again til we get it right. A nurse says hold still this won't hurt a bit. And a airline stewardness says put this over your mouth and nose and breathe normally.

Adult Joke

what men would do if they had a vagina for a day

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers. 9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half. 8. See if they could finally do the splits. 7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet. 6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch. 5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time. 4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first. 3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video. 2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too. 1. Finally find that damned G-spot. http://funny-photos24.blogspot.com/search/label/Jokes

 

Dirty Joke

Girls night out

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home. The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'

Relationship Joke

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday

.

Relationship Joke

0 to 200 in 6 seconds 

 Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

How to Deactivate Facebook Timeline

As the amount of users of facebook is increasing, its appearance are aswell accretion day by day. Recently, facebook has alien a new feature, alleged “Timeline”. Many users do not adopt this feature, as they do not know, what is Timeline, how does it work, how to use it, how to defended your annual with timeline and etc.

  What is “Timeline”?

Timeline is a new attending of facebook users’ profile, by which a user can appointment his/her accomplished aural a individual moment. A user can upload his/her photos, videos, contest and belief on the contour from his/her built-in to present. In a individual word, timeline is the summary of a user.

But the main fact is that, many of the users do not feel secure with timeline. They unfortunately activate timeline on their profile and feel insecure after activating. Then they feel worried about that how to deactivate the timeline .

Deactivating timeline is very to do at “Mozilla Firefox” browser. The most important thing is that facebook did not release the timeline for internet version 7 or older. So, switching back the “User Agents” of firefox to IE7 or older is the easiest way of deactivating facebook timeline. Now come to the procedure of deactivating timeline.

For Mozilla Firefox:

At first download and install the “User-agent-switcher”.

User-Agent-Switcher

Now restart the browser.

Then follow the procedure:

Tools>> Default User Agent>> Internet Explorer

Select “Internet Explorer 7”

Now login to facebook or refresh the browser. There will show old profile page.

There may show some white space on the upper layer of the facebook profile. In that case, install the “facebook purity extension”.

mozila

FB Purity Extension

After restarting the browser, it will be done.

For other browsers:

Download and install the add-ons according to the browser from here.

If facebook sensor this site, then try again this link.

Sports Joke

Sports Joke

10 Reasons Not To Jog 

 1. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now & we don't know where the heck she is.

2. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

3. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

4. I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

5. I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.

6. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

7. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

8. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

9. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

10. I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.